Ah, the subject of laundry that we typically struggle with when living on our own. The condition of living alone, I contest, gave rise to the "sniff test". However, always being mindful of our interactions with the outside people (aka "society"), it's always important to mediate this difficult issue using the following tips:
- Always keep clean towels. If you're like 95% of other bachelors, these things don't get washed (or hung up even) until they're so stiff with dirt that they can stand up on their own. Believe it or not dudes, chicks WILL sniff these when they come over and use your bathroom. Don't give her friction burns if she tries to dry her hands off after washing them.
- Despite our current belief structure, pants do indeed get dirty. Don't do what I do and wait till there's visible stains on your pants to wash them (for the record, food stains, not weird sh*t). If they're your favorite pants, go out and buy a second pair of exactly the same type. Problem solved. One on your body, the other putting your washer to the task.
- Folding. Not mandatory. As long as you can jam that sh*t in your drawers and close the drawers, you're golden.
- Fabric softener. We don't use this. Not sheets. Not liquid. We don't use this.
- Ironing. Every man worth his weight in salt needs to know how to iron. While you might not use this all the time, or hardly ever depending on your career, it WILL win you over with the ladies.
- Hand held steamer. If you're like me and constantly going to job interviews, this handy little bastard will stretch out the length of the folds in your laundry and you can avoid going to the dry cleaners as much as possible (again, provided their isn't food or "mystery" stains on your suit)
- Whites. BLEACH. Bleach, bleach, bleach the sh*t outta your whites. I read a report stating the average pair of underwear contains approximately 1 gram (ish) of poo. And if you're like me and wear tighty whities (which I don't think anyone in their 30's wears anymore), you're gonna want that stuff reeking of bleach while it's in the machine.
- Tighty Whities. If you're over 30, get rid of them and upgrade at least to boxer briefs.
- Lint traps. Clean 'em. Nuff said.
- Gym clothes. Wash them after EVERY workout. I have been to the gym all too often and been blasted by what smells like a 10 ft. tall burning onion, most likely due to muscle heads not washing their workout clothes. Doooo not be that guy.
Remember, laundry is matter of out of sight, out of mind. Clean it properly, often, and hide it. Currently I have a massive pile of clean laundry on my dining room table that needs to be stuffed into drawers. Don't be like me. :P
